When under stress, the natural response is to fix the problem quickly. The more discomfort or pain that is caused, the more urgent it becomes to solve problems and conflicts. Impatience, bitterness, and pride often get in the way of resolving these conflicts.
The feeling is that the pressure being experienced should not be put up with. Suffering is a definite love test. This stress very much tests the marriage relationship. Responsibility to stay committed to the wife or husband is set aside. The effort required is considered too heavy. The temptation is to make commitment to marriage optional.
As long as things are going well, husbands and wives can often remain happy and content. Once painful circumstances come into the marriage, there may be the feeling that this was not part of the bargain. To be supportive toward a partner total commitment. Yet, a spouse may say, "This relationship is not worth the pain and effort. If this relationship does not work out, I can take care of myself. Besides, there are other choices out there if this person does not work out". With a selfcentered spouse, the tendency is to pull away.
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