How to Have a Happy Marriage

There are those who would contend that marriage itself is grounds for divorce. This dim view even seems to be supported by the statistical failure rate that is an astonishing 50%. Yet it is possible to live together in marriage "till death do us part" and have a rewarding and happy relationship.Follows are the five steps that are necessary to receive from marriage all that God intended

Step One : Accept Jesus Christ as Your Savior
God must be in the life of both parties. Marriage is an institution designed by God. He cannot be successfully ignored. When 2 people enter marriage without God in their lives, they will react to the challenges of marriage in a selfish manner. This is through no fault of theirs. It is because they were born sinners and selfish. *1 Because of this, we want our own way in everything possible. After accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior, you have the love of God shed abroad in your heart and you can truly love others. *2 God comes into your life when you pray to him asking him to be your Lord and Savior. *3 He takes all bitterness, anger and guilt away. Then you can learn to allow the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts and actions. This is a necessary first step to receiving all that God want you to receive from marriage

Step Two : Submit Yourself to God's Order
You must conduct yourselves according to God's order in your relationship to each other. This means submitting yourselves to God, which is opposed to the popular "I did it my way" philosophy. You may say, "Not me!" But, if you are doing it your way now and it isn't accomplishing what you want, why don't you try it God's way

Step Three : Learn Effective Verbal Communication
Learn effective verbal communication. Effective verbal communication requires both good speaking and good listening skills. The six most important aspects of good verbal communication are: listen carefully, a soft answer turns away wrath, tell the truth, believe what you hear, stick to the subject and believe you are on the same side.

Step Four : Commit Yourself to the Relationship
Be committed to the relationship. Many people have entered into marriage thinking they might as well give it a try. After the first attraction has died and the work of making a happy marriage begins, they want out. These thoughts are addressed primarily to those who have accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior. If you and your spouse have both accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, divorce should not be considered except in the case of sexual immorality or abandonment, and even then all efforts should be made to maintain the marriage

Step Five : Develop Your Sexual Relationship
Develop a mutually comfortable sexual relationship. Their are Christians that feel the sexual relationship between husband and wife is, in some way, dirty, unwholesome, unhealthy, and should be enjoyed as little as possible, and seldom, if ever, discussed. There is no basis for these thoughts in the Bible. The Bible presents the marriage relationship as a sexual relationship. The expression, "become one flesh" *10 is made in reference to the sexual relationship. The apostle Paul makes it clear that neither the husband nor the wife should fail to provide for the sexual needs of the other. *11 Solomon instructed his son to rejoice with the wife of his youth and to be "enraptured" with her love and only her love. *12 The Bible has very specific and complete commands concerning the types of sexual relationship that God says are sin; yet, none of these commands prohibit any type of sexual stimulation within the sexual relationship between a married husband and wife.

God says the husband is to dwell with his wife according to knowledge. *13 God says the wife is to reverence her husband. *14 Between a husband and wife, who love each other, and are expressing this love sexually, "any sexual caresses or stimulation that are enjoyable to both and not physically harmful to either, are acceptable to God." Remember, the most important consideration in love is: "what is in the best interest of the other