What is love? Do you know what defines true love, the kind of love that would cultivate a satisfying, lifelong marriage?
We must not confuse love with infatuation. Infatuation is defined as "being completely carried away by foolish love or affection" according to Webster's New World dictionary. This is what most people base their marriage on - infatuation. Infatuation is merely the early stage of love. The passion and excitement felt in the beginning will not last indefinitely, and infatuation should never be confused for true love.
All marriages have challenges. To assume otherwise is to misunderstand basic human differences. Men and women differ in their thinking.
Many couples believe that once they ‘fall in love', the feelings would remain with no work involved on their part. It takes a lot of sacrifice and work by both parties to make the marriage a success.
There is no perfect marriage, but a marriage can be perfected if both parties contribute to the relationship.
One important component to a successful marriage is compatibility. Both parties must get along well. They must respect each other and show kindness to one another.
They must also be each others friend. Most relationships start off by the man and woman becoming friends first, then love for each other develops. After marriage somehow the friendship wanes and the couple becomes distant. This should not be. Friendship must be maintained throughout the marriage.
Then there is commitment. Committed couples try to develop good relationships with each others family, they love to be seen together in public and they look forward to having children together.
Communication is also a vital factor in a marriage. It is better to talk openly about problems instead of fighting. Women especially expect men to read their minds, but that is not possible. We must say exactly what we feel and think.
Respect each other and don't take one another for granted. There are two things we can do to achieve this. First, say ‘I'm sorry.' When there is a disagreement on an issue, the easiest thing to do is to attack each others personality or character or both. Nothing can be gained by fighting. Say you're sorry and focus on the issue and not on faults.
Second say ‘Thank you.' We always take for granted the little things that our spouse does on a daily basis. But saying thank you for the little things will let them know that they're appreciated. Practice saying it often.
Let's a take a closer look at this word called love.
The Greek language, which the New Testament is written uses three words to express love, eros, philia and agape.
Eros refers to sexual love. This is where the English word erotic was derived.
Philia means brotherly love. The type of love you would have for a relative or close friend.
Agape means caring love. This is the love that couples must have for one another.
I Corinthians 13:4 - 8 says "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable and keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever." (New Living Translation).
Sounds impossible? Not really. Not if you truly want your marriage to work. Also living your life for God can develop this love in you. "No one has ever seen God, but if we love each other, God lives in us and His love has been brought to full expansion through us. And God has given us His Spirit as proof that we live in Him and He in us." (I John 4:12 - 13).
Read also Ephesians 5:22 - 33.
A truly happy marriage is based on giving, not getting. Selfishness and instant self gratification by one or both parties is the cause for most marriages failing.
Choose now to serve one another in love and you can have a happier marriage than you can ever imagine.
No comments:
Post a Comment