Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Dating Again

Losing a partner, whether wife or husband, after years together can be a devastating experience. For couples who have been together for more than thirty or forty years, the idea of looking for another person to fill the void their partner left behind can seem anathema. Dating after 65 is every bit the choice that the dating at 16 or 26 or even 36 is. It’s about mindset and how you feel.

If you are over 65 and considering dating again, don’t fight it – you wouldn’t be thinking about it if you weren’t ready for it. Your needs as a mature adult are going to be very different from what they were when you were in your teens or twenties or thirties. Recognize that what you want and what you are looking for, need to be in line. You can never replace a lost spouse, but finding someone just to enjoy time with doesn’t mean you are trying to replace that.

Of course, you aren’t looking to replace your spouse. They were a unique person and you had a unique history with them. Anyone else you date is going to be in their own way unique. The relationship or experience you have with this person is going to be different and unique to the two of you.

There are many opportunities through community centers, the Internet and professional services that offer to hook you up with likeminded people. If you elect to travel this route, be careful. Make sure the agency or service you select is reputable. While some may require a small investment, avoid any service that is looking for large sums of money.

Also, be aware that relationships start most naturally with a foundation of friendship. You are likely not looking for someone to sweep you off your feet or have the Harlequin romance, but friendship offers deeper and more meaningful rewards towards future relationships. And for the ladies out there, it’s a sad fact but pickings for single men over the age of 65 are pretty slim. For the gentlemen over 65, he will find a greater selection. Take your time, enjoy meeting others and if you are ready to date, go for it.

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