Relationship Ending

You may be broken-hearted and crooning out latest versions of the feel-good girl anthems, but deep down you know there's a silver lining to this relationship ending. In fact if you dig a little deeper, you'll realize that all of your past relationships hold a secret key to finding your true perfect someone.

The road to love, like many things, is a path paved with good intentions. However, if you don't know where you're going or why you're trying to get there, you will probably end up somewhere you don't want to be. (Read: Crying your eyes out over a pint of Ben & Jerry's.) Sometimes a quick check in the rear view mirror can yield insights on what new destinations will be perfect for you. Below is a post-breakup checklist to help you do just that. Use it to aid you in figuring what you really want when it comes to your future relationships.


1.Go over the details of why your most recent relationship ended. Being honest with yourself, were there habits or patterns of behavior you could have changed that would have made a difference? If there were, write them down in a list of things you need to work on. Now focus on your past partner. Were there things they could have changed that would have made a difference? Write them down in a list under traits to avoid in a future partner or traits to have in a future partner.

2.List any other contributing factors that may have held your relationship hostage. These could range from money or family issues to school or work factors. These are important to note, because at certain points in your life you may not be equipped mentally to deal with these AND a relationship. It doesn't mean your relationship wasn't strong enough, just the emotionally maturity between the two of you wasn't high enough at that stage in your relationship to cope with the added pressures.

3.Make it a point to remember all the good times in your relationship -- even if it ended badly. This exercise is important because it helps you put your focus back to the positives of what you want in a new relationship. It also allows you to potentially bridge the gap from lovers to friends.