Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Cheating

People enter into a relationship to get to know the other person, they enter into a commitment based on their love, and they seek happiness in life. Whether happiness revolves around marriage and kids or a significant other to spend life with. All relationships have problems. A couple married for 35 years did’t hit several bumps in the road. What makes their relationship last while others don’t? That is a tough question to answer because there are a lot of factors. Cheating on your spouse or significant other is just one factor in an unhappy relationship.

Why do people cheat? There are several reasons. The biggest is opportunity and unhappiness. Relationships are built on love, and sometimes two people forget to communicate causing unhappiness. When an opportunity comes along to talk with someone about our problems we usually do so. Does it always lead to cheating? No, not always.

First we should probably define cheating:

Cheating can be going on a date with someone else while in a relationship, having sex with another individual, or a conversation the other is jealous of. An individual decides what their definition of cheating is. For the sake of this article we will concentrate on cheating as a sexual act.

Often those who cheat with a sexual act are two types of people. Those who pray on another’s needs to satisfy their own and those who didn’t not mean to cheat but circumstances evolved before anyone remembered to say no. Those who pray on another’s needs usually are out for a satisfying relationship in bed and don’t really wish for a more significant relationship. Married people often pose a safe avenue for those who don’t wish to be tied to an individual. Those who cheat as an accidental incident are guilty when it is over. It could be too much alcohol and an attraction to another individual that leads to the act or it could be so much pain that they seek some sort of release.

Some individuals who lose a child or other loved one may seek outside relationships from their marriage because they are no longer able to communicate the hurt to their partner. It could be a result of a marriage or relationship long over, but no one has the guts to say that it is over. It is hard to hurt a person we have loved or one we still love, but not the same as we once did.

Individuals who fall out of love may seek other relationships while still married because they need a fulfillment, but don’t want to hurt the other person. Of course this is faulty thinking because the other individual will be more hurt for the betrayal rather than the ending of the relationship. Why people cheat is still a mystery, to a large degree. Why we feel we should betray someone by cheating rather than ending a stale relationship is still left unanswered. We can have many excuses, but in the end they don’t matter as much as the pain caused.

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